Where Forgiveness Begins: At the Foot of the Cross
© copyright 2002 by Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC

What is forgiveness and Why do we need it?
Talking about forgiveness causes us to reflect on some very personal hurtful experiences in our lives. We don’’t want to think about those times and we find ourselves struggling to resolve the memories of pain and emotional wounds others have inflicted on us. Abuse, put-downs, broken promises, harsh words and even more painful incidents cause us to struggle with resentment and bitterness.
Forgiveness is a difficult topic because it calls us as human beings to a higher standard - the standard of grace and mercy. But when we don’’t forgive we run into a greater human dilemma: that of unforgiveness where the pain of resentment and bitterness flows through our veins, quenching our spirits, breeding a cynicism about life, people and God. Unforgiveness encases us in a miserable existence changing our perception of the world and people from positive to negative, causing us to withdraw, putting us in a mode of retaliation.

We need the sweet relief of forgiveness not only to grant it to others but to receive it for ourselves. None of us is without sin. The Bible says in Rom 3:23-24, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus".
Phillip Yancey wrote: "Forgiveness is another way of admitting, 'I’’m human, I make mistakes, I want to be granted that privilege and so I grant you that privilege.' Forgiveness breaks the cycle. It does not settle all questions of blame and justice and fairness: to the contrary, often it evades those questions. But it does allow us to start over. In that way, said Solzhenitsyn, we differ from all animals. it is not our capacity to think that makes us different, but our capacity to repent, and to forgive. Only humans can perform that most unnatural act; and by doing so only they can develop relationships that transcend the relentless law of nature."
Since we are to be like Christ, then, our forgiveness is based on a new standard: one that grants forgiveness unconditionally, without requirement of payment or the promise of change. Hanging from the cross, in Luke 23:34, 43, Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." And to the thief on the cross who professed faith in Him, He said, "Today you shall be with me in paradise." That's unconditional. There was no time to change. He declared forgiveness and reconciliation without any conditions to be met.

The wonderful part of forgiveness is that we have to totally surrender to Christ for the power to forgive. We are then in the place where He really wants us, the place where He can do His greatest work in us. Humility becomes us. Humility places us at the foot of the cross. The ground is level at the foot of the cross. 1 Pet 5:6-7 reads: "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

What does the Bible say about forgiveness?
Luke 6:37 "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
Matt 6:12 Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
Matt 6:14-15 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Matt 18:21-22 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
Matt 18:35 "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."
Forgiveness cancels a debt someone owes us and restores relationships and is the only solution in a world ridden with sin and evil to help us start over with people and with God.
Forgiveness gives us the opportunity to express the love of God to others. And the opportunity to fully understand God’’s grace in our lives and to allow His grace to flow through us to others.
It is at the foot of the cross where we learn about the depth of grace God has for us and how to extend that grace to others. When we truly recognize our need for forgiveness from God and receive it as His gift to us through Christ we are able to allow His forgiveness and power to change our attitudes and actions towards others from harsh and hostile to compassionate and loving.
Luke 23:34 Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."
Col 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (NIV)

Scott Wesley Brown wrote this chorus in "Meet Me at the Foot of the Cross":
" Meet me at the foot of the Cross
Where the ground is even for us all
Where every root of bitterness...melts into forgiveness
And every broken heart is made whole,
Meet me at the foot of the Cross."

Where the real power lies giving us power to forgive:
““ God’’s kind of forgiving is our model and God alone can enable us to do the impossible..God Himself provides the power so no relationship is beyond redemption.”” Dr. McQuilkin.
We need God's power to perform the supernatural act of forgiveness. Paul writes in Phil 2:13 "for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose".
We need to authentically experience God's forgiveness in order to grant it. Jesus Christ died for the sins of the whole world (that includes you and me), past, present and future sins. He has paid the full penalty for those sins.
Romans 8:1 says: "There is now no condemnation for those who are in
Christ Jesus" when we accept Jesus Christ as the Lord and Savior of our lives and repent of our sins. Repentance means not only asking for forgiveness but having a desire to turn from sinful living. Jesus has paid the price once and for all for all of our sins. He offers to forgive our sins, and to give us the free gift of eternal life- making peace between us and His Father when we decide to trust Him as Lord and Savior of our lives.
The Bible says that God has provided Jesus as the Savior and that we can receive Him and have eternal life: John 3:16 says: "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (NIV)
The Bible also says: John 3:36: "Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God's wrath remains on him." (NIV)
Heb 10:10-14 reads: "And by that will, we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.
There are many verses assuring us of the forgiveness we have in Christ. Acts 10:43 says All the prophets testify about him that everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name."
Eph 1:7" In him (Christ) we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace."
Col 1:13-14" For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."
Ps 65:3" When we were overwhelmed by sins, you forgave our transgressions.'
Ps 103:2-3" Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits-- who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,'
Ps 103:10-12 "He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear him; as far as the east is
from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.'
Isa 43:25 "I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more."
Acts 10:43 "All the prophets testify about him that everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name." Acts 13:38 "Therefore, my brothers, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you."
Rom 4:25 He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification.
I Jn 1:9 "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." (NIV)
The key to our ability to forgive is to experience God’’s forgiveness personally.
Charles Spurgeon wrote: ““Let us go to Calvary to learn how we may be forgiven..... and then let us linger there to learn how to forgive.””
Read more about how to know God personally in the article on Faith.

Steps to forgivingness: In order to proceed from bitterness or unforgiveness to forgiveness we need to :
1. Know and experience Christ’’s love and forgiveness deeply in our lives. Col. 3:13
2. Make a choice to forgive. Eph. 4:32 Read Forgiveness is a Choice
3. Overcome internal resistances (automatic thoughts & beliefs) which block forgiveness. Phil. 4:8, *read What Makes Forgiveness so Hard
4. Increase our empathy towards others. Eph. 4:32
5. Surrender our lives to God continually so the fruit of the Holy Spirit can flow through us to others: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, self-control. Gal. 5:22-3
6. Have faith that God will judge all the wrongs in the world. Make the decision to leave revenge and justice up to Him because Prov. 20:22 says ““Do not say, ““I’’ll pay you back for this wrong!”” Wait for the Lord, and He will deliver you.”” and Rom 12:19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.

Lewis Smedes wrote in Forgive and Forget: ““love is the power behind forgiveness””.
I would add God’’s love and grace is the power behind forgiveness, giving us supernatural power to forgive others, the power to overcome resentment, the power to redeem relationships and show God’’s love to a hurting world.

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© copyright 2002 by Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC

Lynette J. Hoy is a Marriage and Family Counselor in private practice in Oak Park, Illinois. Lynette regularly presents seminars on: women's issues, assertiveness, "What's Good About Anger?", stress and conflict management, PREP's "Fighting for Your Marriage", grief and divorce recovery. Lynette is a National Certified Counselor and the Chairwoman of CBWC: Chicago-land's Connecting Business Women to Christ. Contact her for seminars, articles or counseling needs at http://www.counselcareconnection.org/services.asp or 708-524-3333. See web sites: www.hoyweb.com , www.counselcareconnection.org.

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