"Ask the Counselor"
by Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC
708-524-3333
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She's More Than a Friend to Me There
is a part of my life that I am struggling with....I
have never had a "girlfriend." I can't communicate effectively with
the opposite sex......Recently, a young woman has come into my life
that is wonderful. Abortion: Crisis Pregnancy I'm 4 months pregnant and single. I already have a child and cannot afford another one......what should I do? "I Lied to Him" I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now.. we are in a long distance relationship .. we live like 4 hours away from each other.. and when we first met on the internet..I lied and said that I was a year older than what I was..because I figured that we would never get together anyways.. Turning the Other Cheek Dear
Counselor: "When a Mate Wants Out" Hello, I am 25 and have been in my relationship for 5 years. A couple of weeks ago my wife told me how unhappy she was in our relationship. I know I did my fair share of screwing things up in our relationship (being too involved in work, hanging out with friends, ect.) I have been PRAYING like crazy for her to change her mind........ Evil and Suffering in Littleton, CO. Dear Counselor: I cannot understand why God allowed the tragedy in Littleton. If He is so good, why did He allow even Christians to be killed. This is a senseless tragedy and it has shaken my faith... "Her memory of her childhood abuse came back" Dear
Counselor, Singleness: "When is the right person going to enter my life?" Dear
Counselor: "I have suffered many kinds of abuse during my life." I am 28 yrs. old and have been sexually abused by my oldest brother, mentally abused by other relatives. I was sexually abused by two family friends, I have a daughter that I gave up for adoption when I was a teenager. The same year I was raped.. Do you suffer from Y2K Anxiety? By Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC For the last several years our society has been called the Age of Anxiety. More than anytime in history there is a growing sense of anxiety and stress. Why? We worry about our families and jobs. We worry about whether we can afford an education, new car or computer, and pay our bills. Now we are worried about the new millennium... Self-Esteem: "He attacked me verbally & emotionally, scarring me" Hi
Lynette: When I get angry, I blow up so fast... When I get angry, I blow up so fast that I don't have time to stop and think or ask for God's wisdom. I know all of these things would help, but by the time I think of it I've already done the damage. What can I do to help get control of my temper? "How can a believer deal with guilt and sin in his/her life?" It is not unusual for a Christian to feel guilty because of sin in his/her life and to have problems dealing with that guilt and sin. We think that once we have become Christians we will no longer have a struggle with sin and that through Christ we will have power to overcome it. Actually, St. Paul talks about his struggle with sin... "I am now unsure if I am a child of God" Dear Counselor: I have prayed the prayer of salvation many times in my life. I truly believe Christ died for my sins. Top of page Sexual addiction: "What is the cure?" Dear Counselor: There is a man, married with small children, and in his late twenties who is troubled by multiple sexual temptations and activities... "I am feeling a need to make God a part of my life" What does Christianity have to offer me? How can I know God personally? What makes Christianity different than other beliefs in the world? Read what Lynette J. Hoy wrote "I am basically scared of any social situation." Dear Counselor: I feel silly talking to a machine but I have no one else I can talk to. I am basically scared of any social situation. I will not go to a party, I don't like going to church. If someone tries to talk to me I usually just look at the ground... "I've been mastubating since I was a child" Dear
Counselor,
Restoration after separation Tracy wrote: My husband and I have been separated for a while now and he is thinking of returning home. On one hand I want him to and on the other I am not sure because of many fears... Teen Drug abuse: "Step-son needs tough love" Dear Lynette: I've never done this before, so I feel a bit inadequate but desperate. I've been married to my husband for almost 11 years. We've both been married before, ... My husband's son moves in and out, and doesn't have to follow rules. He is a drug abuser..... Read what Lynette J. Hoy wrote Response to critic of Josh McDowell's book "Answers to Tough Questions Skeptics ask about the Christian faith" A
reader from Ohio writes, Dear Reader: I
wonder whether you have ever really studied the evidence
for
Is it O.K. for a Christian to defend himself? Hello, I do not know if this is the right forum for this but I am a recently converted Christian and a martial artist. In this martial arts we don't believe in ANYTHING that would violate Christianity except I don't know if it is ok for a Christian.... My husband seems to have been pulling away Dear Lynette, I am a mother of two children. I have been married for almost 10 years and the past five have been difficult. My husband seems to have been pulling away. Two years ago he told me... Read what Lynette J. Hoy wrote Interracial Marriage: "Is there anything wrong with it?" Dear Lynette: I have been dating my girlfriend for 4 years now, I'm 20 and ready to marry. The only thing that is holding me back is she is half white and black, and I'm white. I haven't found anything in the bible that supports not pursuing such a relationship, but I'm looking for.. "My husband has had various kinds of affairs" Hello. He has had only one sexual affair that I am aware of, but it would not surprise me to find that there have been others. He has had secret contact with several women that I have found out about. "I am deeply, emotionally "in love" and attached to the other man" Conflict with husband due to poor health... Divorced
but "in love" Dear Counselor: My husband and I have been married for 20 years. We have 2 daughters. A year ago my husband started chatting with women on the internet. He has chatted with the same women for a year now. I have become very jealous...
Top of page "My heart hurts that I never knew if he was sorry" Dear Counselor: If someone never received an apology or felt any remorse from their former spouse for an action that helped end their marriage; how do you process the feeling that you would like to know they felt some remorse?...
"I feel like we are both single parents that pass in the night and we often end up blowing up" Overall I do believe we have a good marriage and work hard at it or at least to the best of our abilities. Read what Lynette J. Hoy wrote "The problem is my boyfriend's ex-wife" "We are worried about our daughter" Dear Lynette, My 25 year old daughter is about to be divorced. After a three year marriage she had a one time affair with someone. My daughter has always been a difficult person... Marriage: "My husband & I have committed adultery" Marriage: My husband has abused me... |
"Unhappy
with Everything in My Life" "I don't know how to develop boundaries for my life" Lynette, I want to know why do I always end up giving up and compromising so much of my happiness and life for somebody else. In the end I am always so unhappy, but I don't know how to develop boundaries for my life. Questions about Christianity: "My faith has been tested by a friend of mine recently. She believes in many different beliefs and religions that I don't, particularly astrology and reincarnation. I still believe in basically everything I did, it's just stronger now. I've been making notes of exactly everything I believe and looking up verses in the Bible to confirm what I believe. There are a few things I can't find that I'm going to search on; but maybe you can help! Read Answers to Questions: About Christianity "I am so lost and don't even know where to turn" Hello,
"He can't keep his eyes off of other women" Dear
Counselor, Spiritual Abuse? " I shy away from anything Christian now" Dear
Counselor, "My desire for religion and my wife has really gone" Need your advice- Been married for 21 yrs. Have 3 girls. I have been a Christian but 2 years ago our church went through some major doctrinal changes and we lost over 65% of our entire fellowship to break off splinter groups. With all the confusion created personally I have felt like throwing out religion completely out of my life. I still go to church but my heart is not in it anymore. Another situation i find myself in is that also 2 years ago under all the stress i started having feelings for my secretary who was younger.. "I am married to a man that I believe mentally abuses me" I am confused and depressed. I do not know how to deal with this. I am tired and have no energy most of the time. Where do I start to fix this? Dear Friend, you are not alone. Many women are suffering in marriages such as yours. You need to learn how to cope and how to take better care of yourself. through building your self-esteem, Marriage: Waiting for a Miracle in My Marriage: I am in a struggle for my wife. On our honeymoon, in 1985, my wifeannounced that she didn't love me and she had made a huge mistake in marrying me. That devastating piece of news has been the standard bearer for our relationship since. My response to the situation was to withdraw from her over a period of years. Alcohol helped me.... Hestitating at the altar: "Now he just wants to be friends" Dear Counselor: I hope you can help. My fiance/boyfriend and I are having problems. You see three years ago he was saved and soon afterwards he married a young woman for the wrong reasons. She kicked him out of the house. He felt that he would never marry again.... "He wants some space- Should I trust or argue?" I've been married for about a year. My husband and I have a very good relationship because first of all we are friends. I was used to hanging out with my friends when I was single. But now that I am married, that idea never crossed my mind. The other day my husband told me he sometimes would like to go out alone...
Death: a response to Dr. Ellis...the question and answer below were found on Dr. Ellis' web site. An email response by Lynette Hoy, NCC, LCPC follows. Q: What is your attitude towards your own death and how can Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy be used to help anyone deal with the consciousness of his or her mortality? A: At the age of 85, I am not at all anxious or depressed about my own death, which I assume will probably occur within the next decade or so. "My husband was having an affair" I don't know how to start with my story... Well here it is anyway. I have been married 15 years with two daughters. I discovered that my husband was having an affair for the last 2 years. I was so devastated & hurt. First of all we were both brought up in a Christian Home. So this was for me very unlikely to happen ...yet the worst thing was he was into drugs & the affair was with ...a MAN... "My boyfriend & I are having problems with sexual temptation" Hi,
I would like to ask you a question. I am 16 years old. I have a
19 year old boyfriend. We have been together for almost 7 months.
We waited to have our first kiss until a few weeks ago mainly because
of me. I was nervous and also, he was my first kiss. (We are both
Christians and love the Lord strongly.) "Shouldn't he sever that relationship?" Dear Counselor: I found you by doing a search of ex-wife relationships. I hope you can help me find the answer to my problem. I am a Christian person, my finance claims to be a Christian by I don't really think he understands what it really means to profess a belief in Christ. He is recently divorced. During his marriage he took care of everything...I mean everything. "I am struggling with what seems to be an eternity in depression" My pastor seems to believe that it is not depression, just conviction of sin. What have I done that was so bad to send me into a state of depression? I have spent my whole life fighting it. Now when I need to know that God is with me, I find out my depression is because He is against something I said or did? Trusting again I recently came across your reply about Marriage: Waiting for a Miracle in my Marriage. This situations parallels mine in very many ways. How do you get your husband or wife to trust again that you won't hurt them again?
"My husband has been seeing other women" I have been married 22 years. I was married at the age of 15. My husband has been seeing other women and sleeping with them. When I find out about it he stops.. Read what Lynette J. Hoy wrote Marriage: "I'm feeling shut out" Dear
Lynette, "I keep in my mind of thoughts of him being with her" Dear Counselor: My husband is very dear and good to me. But I have a problem. He has been divorced but the problem is ... Marriage: My wife is overweight... Teens Ask the Counselor |
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