Singleness:
"When is the right person going to enter my life?"
Dear Counselor:
I am single and feel so alone. Sometimes I'll
be going about my busy life and stop and think, I'm getting older,
so when is this "right person" going to enter the picture?"
How many more New Years do I have to celebrate and how many more times
am I going to move from apartment to apartment, finding new roommates,
making new plans, making major life decisions and having to do it
alone? I feel like that future husband of mine has missed
out on so much of my life that I've experienced, that he's going to
have a lot of catching up to do when he meets me...learning who I
am, what I've been through, etc. I just wish there was someone
special cheering me on in life. I tell God that I'd be a much
better Christian if I was married, because my husband would help me
gow in the Lord and keep me in line! Do you
have any advice on how to endure this time in my life or maybe even
enjoy it without feeling like I'm missing out on so much and letting
the loneliness overwhelm me? Thanks.
Cindy
Dear
Cindy: My heart goes out to you. Being single
in this day and age takes a lot of fortitude. Our society
is so family-oriented. Churches cater to families. It
is very tough being single, & especially when you long to be
married.
The first thing that comes to my mind is this: God
is sovereign. God is in control. When life doesn't give us what
we want, when disappointments occur, we need to trust that God is
there, that He cares, that He has a plan and that we are not out
of His will for us. Trust is hardest when things don't seem to be
working out in the most important areas of our lives. But that is
when trust grows and that is when God can work.
I have counseled women with infertility problems who
were despondent about the possibility of never having a child. I
have talked with singles who were concerned that they might never
be married. I have seen them struggle with the dreams they
had that might never come true. Some bore children, some did not.
Some got married, some did not.
This is one of the mysteries of life. There are many
stories of people who prayed for children, who lost spouses or children
to death, who went through famines, who lost their dreams. It seems
to me that all a person can do is trust, pray and become the person
God has called them to be, doing His will each day.
This is a time in your life for growth. You
can take this time to really be the person God wants you
to be. You can take time to get to know Christ more personally and
deeply and discover the power of His presence in your life each
day. Take time out to pray specifically for His intervention in
your life, in your relationships and in your responsibilities. Look
for ways to serve and love the people God puts in your life. Get
to know Him through daily study of His Word. Read about Jesus in
the gospels. Make this verse your life verse: "Trust in the Lord
with all your heart and do not rely on your own understanding. In
all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path." Prov.
3:5-6
Challenge yourself to get involved in people's lives
and share your faith with them. Get involved in a single's Bible
study and social group at a local church. Give God opportunity
to bring someone into your life (if that is what He wants for you)
by meeting other Christian singles.
Be the person God wants you to be so that when He
brings that special someone along you will recognize each other.
But most of all, live your life fully by serving,
loving and trusting Jesus Christ everyday. You won't waste
a second of your life when you are doing God's will and you will
experience His joy whether you marry or not.
I recommend the following books for you to read:
1. Finding
the Love of Your Life: Ten Principles for Choosing the Right Marriage
Partner by Neil Clark Warren
2. Relationships
: An Open and Honest Guide to Making Bad Relationships Better and
Good Relationships Great
by Les Parrott, Leslie Parrott
3. The
Road Best Traveled: Knowing God's Will for Your Life by
Ray
Pritchard
4.
Too
Busy Not to Pray : Slowing Down to Be With God : Including Questions
for Reflection and Discussion by Bill Hybels
5. The
Search for Significance by Robert McGee
I will pray for you! God
bless you always! Lynette
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