Dear Counselor:
I am a 50 plus year-old man with a family and, was recently downsized from a $50,000 to $60,000 a year job. ..A "Friend" from my church (A born again Christian), came in with his church t-shirt on; very angry about how another Chevy dealer had treated him. I broke my tail to help this man and his wife... got them into a truck that they wanted...... this for no commission (Zero money) and, no C.S.I. (Customer Satisfaction Index bonus) and, this Christian knew this.
I asked him 4 times if he'd mind writing a letter of testimonial re: my service: NOTHING. I have tried to confront him to no avail.
An unsaved man, I think, came into my dealership and, out of the clouds yesterday, I received one of the most beautiful letter's that I've ever received (By, someone not wearing their Christianity on their shirtsleeves; probably not a Christian, at all). Me, my wife & family lost $11,000 in our daugther's education funds and, my IRA, in having to cash them in in order to live. I wrote to the State Attorney of Atlanta...he had one of his "Lackey's" write me back and say: "Hire private attorney." Ever wonder why people like "Frontier justice," or, why there is a hate group/Nazi party in America? (Answer), Because there are people in our government and,,,,in our Christian churches that don't walk the walk...and, are as phoney as three-dollar bills.
How could I preach the gospel to that unsaved man, and, invite him into my "Loving" church (You know, the one where an usher didn't even care to write a brother a card...a brother, with a family, who makes $5.10 an hour). What am I missing here? Answer this,please (If you have the courage). Thank you, Mystified

Answer:
Dear Mystified,
Simply put: there are Christians who walk-the-walk and there are "so-called" Christians who don't.
There were back-slidden Christians in the Bible....read 1 Corinthians.. There are also people who are charlatans.
I wouldn't try to justify this, but, I would say that Jesus was let down by his disciples and people all the time.
Peter denied Him three times. All of them hid behind closed doors after His death. Peter, James and John fell asleep in the Garden of Gethsemane when Jesus needed them to stay awake and pray. They argued about who would be the greatest. Judas betrayed Him.

Pride, laziness, fear, greed, selfishness.... were the characteristics of the ones who followed Jesus closely, witnessed His miracles, death and resurrection and called themselves believers.
You can never know if someone is really a Christian....only God knows the heart. And if they truly are He will judge them and convict them. You can trust His judgment and you can ask Him to help you see them with His grace and forgiveness. Read about Forgiveness and What's Good About Anger?
You can live your life in obedience to God and let Him deal with those who treat you unfairly. You can only be responsible for yourself. And because you call yourself a Christian, you are called to live up to the verse in Col. 3:13 which says, "Forgive one another just as God in Christ Jesus has forgiven you.".
You aren't the first one to have to turn the other cheek.

I can see that you did try the Matt. 18 approach to no avail. It is a big loss, but, I am wondering how you can trust God for all of this? Certainly, He cares and can help you and strengthen you. I still believe that you can't be certain that this Christian is a "true believer" as James says..... James 2:20-23 You foolish man, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless? Was not our ancestor Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. And the scripture was fulfilled that says, "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness," and he was called God's friend. NIV
A true believer will have fruit and works in his/her life. On the other hand, real Christians can quench the Holy Spirit and fall back into sin. So, either this person is not a believer or is a back-slidden Christian. The most important thing for you is to get on with your life and not let this incident make you bitter. Read the article on forgiveness mentioned above.
Even if you struggle financially....you can have peace in your life as a Christian when you walk obediently with the Lord. You can know that you are trying to live for the Lord to the best of your ability. We are always struggling to keep an eternal perspective on life. Col 3:1-4 says:Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. NIV Paul writes about what is important for the Christian here in Gal 5:5-6 For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. NIV

The real Christian life is not easy....following a Savior who while He suffered and bore the sins of the world on the cross... said "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." Who can explain it......outside of God's immeasurable grace. These trials are but temporary -- 2 Cor. 4:16-18 says, "therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an ternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." NIV
You may find it helpful to order a book such as: Keep Believing: God in the Midst of Our Deepest Struggles or An Anchor for the Soul or FAQs: about the Christian Life or The Road Best Traveled- Knowing God's Will for Your Life by Ray Pritchard.
May God grant you grace, sustain you and bless you!
Lynette Hoy, NCC, LCPC

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